I would say my anxiety started in 8th grade. I grew up in Wisconsin and quickly got the label of having seasonal affective disorder (SAD) in the fall and winter months which in Wisconsin was over half of the year. I would not want to go to school because I would feel depressed. My mother was very concerned about me and set me up with a therapist.
In this behavioral therapists office I learned new tools and also came to be given the label socially anxious. This showed up more in high school. I would be in math class and feel so overwhelmed that my friend is no longer my friend but my "enemies" friend, for no reason. I would excuse myself and breathe anxiously in the bathroom telling my mom I need to leave school.
One of my techniques I learned in therapy is to write down my feelings. I remember in science class being teased for wearing a fake tan. I was so uncomfortable. I wrote anxiously on my notebook paper and so I could feel safe no one would read it I would continue to write on top of my previously written self notes. I think those papers probably looked insane.
Eventually, the heavily scribbled anxious papers turned into a different form of writing called Lists of Things I Like. The purpose was to express my mind into these lists of things that make me feel good. A practice I still do today. On those lists would be things like, health, grass, nature, clean rooms, water, the sun, the moon etc.
Being able to talk to someone about how I was feeling was the best place to start healing my anxiety.
Now I am aware that I need to process my thoughts, I think so very much and I cannot keep it all in my mind. I needed to write it out to release the pent up energy in my head that turned to anxiety. It started with the notes and continued with therapy talk sessions. A safe place to say whatever I wanted without judgement. I have been through countless therapists. Some are not my type and I feel weird talking to them. But once I find one who is right for me.. It is a healthy addition to my life, just like water and exercise.
This change took me from a level 10 anxiety to a level 7.
High school and middle school were not the easiest for me because of this anxiety. I was so overwhelmed about what the other girls thought of me. If they did something that hurt my feelings, I would get crushed. And over think everything. My mom was the champion of saying, "next year it will be better."
It was when I had a spiritual awakening in college that my anxiety went away.
In my Freshman year of college a few hours away from my hometown in a city a little larger than the one I grew up in, I started learning about mindfulness by the teacher Eckhart Tolle. I would skip my class because I felt that I was learning more in the audiobook than I could in class.
Mindfulness took my attention out of my mind that raced all day and night and into the present moment. If you are struggling with anxiety and have not practiced mindfulness, do that.
I began to connect with nature in the present moment. I became extremely patient and gentle. I witnessed everything around me without judgement and just became aware of the world around me, not the world of thought inside my head.
This change took me from Level 7 anxiety to a level 4 or lower.
From mindfulness I started having a desire to learn yoga. At the same time I was also introduced to Reiki. Now, one of my main practices. Yoga has an incredible power to cure anxiety.
The combination of mindful movements and breath for 60 minutes or more changes your entire physiology. It changes your mind, your mood, your brain chemicals, body and more. You can join a yoga class as an absolute beginner and get the hang of it in a week. If you are nervous going in that you won't be flexible, don't worry. My two tips are these: 1. Know that you get flexible by doing yoga, you aren't expected to do the splits your first time. 2. Close your eyes. The practice is for you only. You don't have to worry about anyone in the class with you. It is just for you.
Doing yoga regularly took my anxiety from a level 4 to a level 2.
Reiki made me a new person.
The moment I became aware of what Reiki is, I knew that I must do it. I searched for someone to give me my attunement and saved up for it. In my attunement I had a profound connection to my inner self and the divine. I was whispered words of deep love and encouragement for 20 minutes straight from these spirit guides. I felt like I was an angel loved more than I could comprehend, a divine olympian greek goddess with the most power and confidence and knowing how incredible I am, as well as a woman of the earth, a mother with 30+ children whom I love and am loved by. This was just my attunement.
As I started to practice Reiki in my life as well as have a regular yoga practice, my vibration raised extremely high. I was eating clean healthy food, expanding my mind in exciting ways and starting my adult life.
After I gave a reiki session I had a few things come up. I always knew that this was part of my purpose. That I was meant to channel this beautiful, peaceful, full of love energy called Reiki into the world. I also would look in the mirror after a session and see myself as more beautiful than before the session.
If you like spirituality & energy healing consider getting attuned to Reiki. This is different than just receiving a Reiki Treatment, which can be a first step. The attunement changes your life. Your energies are opened to receive light from above and keep it in your body. Your life will change after receiving an attunement.
I elevated to know and be in a frequency that many call Love. This is a high vibrational energy very close to God and Heaven. Where God dwells. I was in the exact same planet as I've always been, but my mind, mood and feelings were elevated. I saw things from a different perspective. I constantly prayed for the goodwill of others who I would see on the street. I saw nature and almost was brought to tears because I could perceive so much beauty. This is nowhere near anxiousness. This is serenity, bliss and love.
My anxiety went to zero after practicing Reiki. Now, I am not as high vibrational as I was when I started this journey. I believe it is part of my path to figure out how to uplevel and make myself better. I am content now. But could increase my practice to be greater, and to do this for myself, I would do more yoga.
Now, anxiety might come up a few times a year.
But I have the tools and knowledge how to handle it when it comes up. That is a separate article on how to handle anxiety when it arises. Ultimately, the secret is knowing it won't last. Being patient and kind to yourself as you witness the energy called anxiety moving through you.
You aren't anxious. You are experiencing the feeling of anxiety moving through you. And it will eventually move out and off of you. And you will feel better.
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