Lately, I've been doing a lot of self re-parenting. I notice and become aware of a belief that is not serving me. Such as being scared to communicate my truth to men and feeling like it is wrong to be in a happy state.
To re-parent or rewire these beliefs that are not serving me in a positive way, I take myself back to a younger age in my mind. I see both of my parents teaching me the new things, that support the new/opposite belief than the one that is hurting me.
For example, I see myself on the couch in the living room next to my dad and brother. This time instead of saying something, and receiving the feeling of getting made fun of, I pretend they respond with curiosity and say, "Oh I didn't know that. Cool." Here there is respect of what I am saying instead of teasing that leads me to be embarrassed. Since I would often feel embarrassed after talking to my early life prominent male figures, this led my subconscious to avoid talking and expressing myself freely around males.
However, now that I am an adult, I can't keep my mouth shut anytime a man is around. So this is why it is important to become aware of the beliefs and thoughts that are not serving you anymore and correct them.
Just because I did this practice one or two times, doesn't make it perfect. It does certainly give me a great head start. Throughout the next few days and weeks, I will keep coming back to the feeling and bodily sensations I get when I imagine expressing myself freely to them, and them having positive reactions, where they are interested and have respect for my intellect and expression.
Example number two: happiness is good. I think a lot of people have this issue going on. Are you someone who strives so hard to fix your problems so that you can finally be happy. But even if you fix your problem, you don't feel comfortable staying in that mood. Or that the happiness mood is very illusive? Me too.
For the re-parenting part of this issue, I take myself back to a younger age, in my childhood home. I see both of my parents here. They tell me, "Hey baby, are you feeling happy?" I say, "No I am feeling neutral. Bored, like potentially something is wrong, even though I don't know what." They say, " Okay darling, well let yourself be happy. It's okay to feel this. It's good to feel good and allow yourself to sit in this feeling." Then as a young girl, I start to intend and allow myself to be in a good mood, for no reason. My parents then look over and say good job, sweetie.
For this one, I also go one parent at a time. I imagine my dad and I sitting in the living room without the tv on, both in good moods, just sitting there. He gives me approval for doing nothing, yet smiling and feeling good.
Then it's my mom's turn. This time I am a little older, maybe in high school or even college. We're both doing chores and both having smiles. I feel happy and joyous and so does she. She says, "This is right and good. I love you."
Doing these practices helps to re-wire your brain for positive thinking. It's good to go over this for many days. Just take some concentration and go slowly so that you can imagine a good scenario and get it to activate emotions in your body. The emotions in my body in these examples were safety, feeling good, and happy/loved that I could express myself.
Now, when I am going out and living in the real world, I have more permission and it feels more comfortable to experience these good things and more confident speaking to male figures in my life. As opposed to trying to feel good but having a subconscious belief that it is wrong to or feeling embarrassed and small. It's all about re-wiring the subconscious beliefs. Try it for yourself and let me know how it goes, and what subjects you chose.
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